What I’m going to talk about is something no one has ever discussed before: the Blank Stare. We all do it, we get better at it with age, some are natural & some have to work hard to achieve the nonchalance needed to pull it off. It’s that stare you do when you’re standing in line at the checkout & you’d love nothing better than to stick your face into everyone’s shopping cart to see what they bought/direct them to better brands/discuss dinner menus and/ or recipes.
You do that same stare when you walk into a beauty salon (at least us girls do) & you’d love to go talk to everyone & see how their hair/nails/eyebrows are coming along & tell an appropriate anecdote. We do it at the doctor’s office when we run out in a rush & forget about getting reading material & those magazines on the table are three years old and look part chewed up, and there’s someone there trying to catch our eye to initiate conversation & you’re thinking, ‘I’m not here for that doctor, I’m here for the other doctor, stay back!
Why do we do it? Have we become such snobs that we really don’t care what the others are doing? I refuse to believe that, I think the people to whom the ‘Blank Stare’ comes naturally are partially brain dead. Granted there are some times when that’s not the reason at all, it’s pure embarrassment. Like when your driver is wheeling your shopping cart to the car & you’re having a conversation (in your head) with everyone around you that goes something like ‘He doesn’t need to do it ... I ... he just took it & took off ... I really don’t mind pushing it ... it would be rude to stop him, he just wants to do his job ...). Or is it just because I’ve never had a driver before?
Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I really would like to see what everyone’s doing & offer appropriate anecdotes/advice/recipes! Maybe I observe people too much. Maybe my brain is stuck at age ten & this detachment is weird for me. Who knows?! But I’ll bet each & every one of you will think about the ‘Blank Stare’ next time you’re at the checkout at the pharmacy & the guy in front of you is buying what you suspect is something he shouldn’t be buying, but you just can’t see clearly what it is, & wouldn’t you love to find out!

In search of vanilla

We roamed the isles, up & down, for two whole days. We bought chests of drawers, bedding, towels; detergents & cleaning utensils, we bought hangers, hanging shelves, pots & pans, plates & cutlery. We soon moved on to buying groceries & ... at first glance we couldn’t find it. We looked at the shelves neatly stacked with row upon row of ready mix cakes, brownies, muffins ... everything out there was available, but no vanilla extract!
‘Have faith’ we thought, ‘we shall succeed!’ Surely, with over 80 million people, surely some bake & use vanilla extract. But still no; we still couldn’t find it. Rows & rows of imported Asian & Mexican food products lined the shelves, expensive stuff... we looked at each other & both uttered simultaneously “But no vanilla!” We finally gave up & brought our own from back home along with our clothes & shoes & the children’s toys & all sorts of junk that we just can’t live without; I’m a serious baker!
We moved on. We made peace with the fact that they just don’t seem to use it, dismissing with disdain the meaningless packs of the powdered stuff, along with the seemingly unreliable packets of baking powder & baking Soda, we brought some of that along with us as well. And then we started to settle in, started doing things a l’egyptian! I bought shoes -mandatory in any new country... ok so I cheated they were Nine West, but still, I was trying. I got a pedicure; I even tipped the guy bagging my groceries & felt so local afterwards!
We started making friends. This couple took us out for an Egyptian experience, grilled chicken at a restaurant that is completely unknown to foreigners (or anyone who hasn’t watched Abbassyat on Fatafeet!). We ate, the kids played & then we looked at each other & asked the all important question: “Where’s the vanilla?” “What do you mean?” came the answer (or rather the question); “didn’t you see the packets of vanilla powder?”, “Oh so that stuff is good?”, “Of course,” the lady said, “One pack is good for two eggs”, she very simply explained.
We felt small; here we were with our stereotypes, thinking vanilla comes only in a bottle, dismissing the poor packets of powder, sitting there all along waiting for us to take home. We realised that things aren’t always as they seem & we should really open our minds & embrace this new culture, it has been around for a while!
PS I have to confess though, that even after this discover, I still haven’t tried the powdered stuff, I have a big stash of liquid vanilla extract that ... err... will spoil if I don’t use it?!

My Addiction

It takes me by surprise, & I begin to breath more quickly.
My legs get a mind of their own & I drift … aimlessly … or so it seems until I reach the source.
It then seems to happen in slow motion … or is it too fast?
I can’t stop myself.
I detect the faint scent & my heart begins to beat more quickly.
I know I have to pluck up the courage to do it but I cannot stop myself … I just can’t
And the touch … oh how good & right it feels, touching it, caressing it …
I can’t take it anymore … I have to have it … I have to … oh why can’t I absorb through my skin why can’t it be more quickly?
Barely able to make the choice I take my purchases & initiate payment … hardly able to contain myself …
And then I leave, laden with the precious …
And when I get home I give myself a good talking to …
I really have to get over my addiction to … books!

I wrote this back in 2002, but I'm still not over this addiction ... thank God!